oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
