That's intense
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
