I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
