oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
