ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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