I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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