so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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