Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
