I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
