based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
