Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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