I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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