Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
