Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
