When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
