Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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