And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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