youre lurking in front of me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
COCAINE IS GR8
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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