Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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