I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
