with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
