READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
