I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
