I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize