Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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