he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
