She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
