It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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