doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
