dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
