I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
