Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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