Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
