fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
