Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
