There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're like the curious george of whores
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
