you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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