Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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