Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize