and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
