This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
