The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
