Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
