my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
