did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
