3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
