i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
