What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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