I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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