are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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