Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
