you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
