the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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