fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Randomize
