I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
