Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
