Don't make out with my wife yet
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
