why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
