can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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