Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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