Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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