Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
