Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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