Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
