I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
