He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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