First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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